I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
