Just fell off a train. Bad.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
