Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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