please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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