i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
