My first STD was from a foam party
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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