whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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