ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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