Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
