After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
