Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
