The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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