Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
