You're so nebulous sometimes
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
