So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Fuck appropriateness.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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