ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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