Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
