did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
