ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
