its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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