you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sext me about skeletons
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
