Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
