OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
