ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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