Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
