im having a threesome with these popsicles
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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