dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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