i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
