Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
