I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
