You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
