I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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