I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
