Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
