end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
