I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
