So drunk its hurt
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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