So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
