There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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