If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i think my cat just said my name.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
