i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
