if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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