this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
