somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
