Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he fucked my hip out of place.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
