I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
