I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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