Whod you bang
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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