I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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