is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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