worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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