I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
