He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
