Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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