make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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