U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize