Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
