just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize