I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
